Jamie's Gnome is missing!
This is the Gnome's most recent picture taken before the kidnapping
During the Texas Iron Holiday Party on December 14th, someone (or some-bodies) snatched Jamie's most prized possession! His Garden Gnome from the Gatorterra Xterra Triple Race is missing.
He has LOVED that award since he first brought it home. Now it's gone!
The "gnome snatchers" left a cryptic ransom note for him to find the next day,
and they have also started emailing him update pictures.
They promise not to harm him if his ransom of $1,000,000 is paid,
but if any funny business goes on they have threatened to take a hammer to it on You Tube!
If you have any information on the missing gnome,
or the where-abouts of it please contact Jamie immediately!
An award of "one less repeat during the workout" is being offered for information leading
to the arrest and apprehension of The Thief of Gnomes.
This award can be redeemed at any of the Texas Iron group workouts.
We will post updates as they are recieved so check back regularly.
Poor little guy!
Latest Gnome Snatching News
Dirty Dozen 12 Hr Mountain Bike Relay Race, Saturday, February 2nd
The Gnome is finally home with his rightful owner. Jamie recieved an additional suprise during the awards ceremony for the Dirty Dozen race! Gnomey showed up and gleefully embraced Jamie after he too participated in the relay event. Thus, the saga is now over and we can all relax knowing Gnomey is back on the awards shelf where he is resting up from his travels.
Most recent letter received on Thursday, January 31st:
Jamie,
Well, Gnomey got wind of Texas Iron having a good turnout at the Dirty Dozen race this weekend and decided that he wanted to participate. Even though he hasn't signed onto a team yet, he's hoping that he can hook up with 3 other "vertically-challenged" people at registration. He's been practicing hard and even though it's a bit difficult to steer with a full beer in hand, he's bunny-hopping with the best of them.
Gnomey is terribly disappointed in you for not being able to raise his ransom money. Last we heard you had managed $12.82 and that just doesn't cut it. He's come to the conclusion that he'll have to raise his own ransom and put the word out on the gnome grapevine. Thankfully, the job market is pretty good right now and the little guys are hard at work raising the remaining $999,983.18.
Thief of Gnomes
Letter received on Tuesday, January 29th:
Jamie,
Well, after the gnome’s Austin adventure, he was a bit tired and sore. We felt sorry for the little guy, so we took him to visit a local massage therapist. He’s feeling much better and has been talking about getting back on the trail…perhaps some mountain biking. We are considering this request. We’ve given up on your ability to raise the required funds to retrieve your gnome. Frankly, we’ve grown quite fond of him and enjoy having him around. Perhaps he will become a permanent fixture here.
Thief of Gnomes
Massage time...ahh....
Letter received on Sunday, January 13th:
Your little friend is far more clever than we anticipated and made an escape! He was quite anxious to tour Austin, as you can see from the photos he managed to take.
It appears he started his little outing with a dip in Barton Springs followed by a gate to gate workout. He then went on a sightseeing tour through downtown Austin. Apparently, he was very thirsty at the end of his tour and stopped in a nearby watering hole for a pint of ale. It appears the one he carries around with him grows stale.
Amazingly, he made his way down the greenbelt in an attempt to return home. The gate appeared to give him a bit of trouble, but we suspect he managed to roll underneath it. Fortunately for us, you were not home and we managed to captured him just as Venus was attempting to open the door!
As the gnome can no longer be trusted with any freedom, we are forced to contain him in a locked closet. If this renegade behavior continues, we will be forced to remove his tankard.
Thief of Gnomes
Barton Springs Pool Start of gate to gate run interval. A standard TX Iron workout.
TX Capitol Austin Museum
Santa Rita #1 Oil Drill on UT Campus Some random bar in Austin. Fado or Gingerman?
The base of the Greenbelt trail to our house The back gate from the trail to our property
Our back porch door. Notice our 2 dogs looking out the window!
This update from Jamie on Wednesday, January 2nd:
To all those concerned friends who have been emailing me,
It's been really hard dealing with the loss of my little buddy. I find myself up late into the night, not able to sleep because of the stress. I thought a lot about my options and I came to a decision this past week, which I think will help expedite the return of my ale drinking Gnome. I thought about who would be the one person who could bring him back home, the one man who fears no one and doesn't take any smack. Who exactly could this one man be? No other then the man himself!!!!!!!!! (sorry, couldn't think of any bad ass Canadian dudes that could fit this description)
Chuck is on the case, and he has assured me that he will find the Thief of Gnomes! He promises to execute his mission skillfully and in full Norris fashion. The situation is serious and he understands that the little guy is in grave danger.
Signed,
Jamie
If you would like to find out more on Chuck Norris, soon to be referred to as the "Savior of the Gnome", you can visit here The movie "Savior of the Gnome" is schedule for release in theatres during summer 2008.
Letter recieved Thursday, December 27th
Jamie,
We are pleased to hear that you have stepped up your efforts to regain your friend. As a result of your posing as Santa Claus to raise funds, we decided to give the little guy a little time in the sun. He seemed to enjoy his exercise time before we were forced to take him back to his cell. We are not sure how he runs so well with a foaming tankard of ale, but we are envious.
Thief of Gnomes
Letter recieved Thursday, December 20th
Jamie,
We have received intelligence that you’ve offered a reward for information leading to the safe return of your gnome and the incarceration of those responsible – namely us. We are not pleased with this information and remind you that should you involve the authorities, your gnome will experience an unfortunate mishap with a large hammer.
We expect to receive updates on your fund raising progress in order to ensure the continued well being of your short little friend. If it appears that you are making no effort to meet our demands, we cannot guarantee that the little guy will remain…well…“intact”…
Thief of Gnomes
Letter recieved on Sunday, December 16th
Jamie,
As you already know, we've taken your gnome hostage. Rest assured that he has been treated well so far. If you involve the police or the FBI, that may change and you will find a video of your little friend coming into contact with a hammer on You Tube. This is not what we desire however. We are more than willing to return the happy fellow unharmed for the sum of $1,000,000. We realize that it may take you some time to come up with such a large sum, so we will be patient while you collect the money - after all the gnome does not eat much. In case you have trouble coming up with ideas to raise more money, we have included a list of possible fund raising ideas.
1. Car washes. Lots of them.
2. Begging on the street corner in your spare time. You'll need a cardboard sign.
3. Sell your wife. She should fetch a fair coin.
4. Get a real job!
5. Male stripping. We've seen that you already have the outfit in pictures from the Silicon Labs relays.
6. Open a running store.
7. Go door to door with a can collecting money. Works best if you put a March of Dimes sticker on the side of the can.
We can be reached at this email address. You'll want to keep us informed of your progress in raising the ransom or we may feel compelled to turn your delightful little buddy into just another pile of porcelain. From time to time we will send you pictures to insure the continued health of your friend. And remember, NO COPS or we break out the hammer!
Thief of Gnomes
Congratulations to Texas Iron for being named
Best of Texas 2007 by Competitor Texas!
In the 2007 poll Texas Iron was named one
of the Best of Texas in the following categories:
Best Male Runner
Best Female Cyclist
Best Male Cyclist
Best Male Swimmer
Best Female Swimmer
Best Male Triathlete
Best Female Triathlete
Best Tri Club
Best Swim Coach
Best Personal Trainer
Best Bike Coach
Best Triathlon Coach
Best Run Coach
